One Year Old

Posted on February 2nd, 2008 by Kymberlie.

February 2, 2008 (10:01pm)

To my precious baby, Elliot,

Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby! I can’t believe you’re one year old today. It’s so hard to imagine that a year ago at this very moment I was capturing my first memories of you. You were tiny and fragile, and easily the most beautiful person I had ever seen. At the time I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to celebrate your first birthday, and today I can’t imagine that you were ever a newborn. This year has gone so quickly. It almost doesn’t seem real.

The first year of your life has been so special to me. I have wanted so badly to be there for all of your firsts, for every cute face and every new discovery. I feel very fortunate that, for the most part, that has been possible. For six entire months I got to stay home with you, attend to your every need, and watch you grow. I remember very clearly when you learned to roll over. We made a video, we were so ecstatic. Slowly, slowly you started achieving other skills. You learned to sit up, to crawl, to pull up to standing, and now you’re almost walking. And to think that a year ago today you were a squishy little froggy baby, not even able to lift your head.

You sure have grown a lot, too! Today you are nearly quadruple the weight you were on the night you born! I’m sure that has something to do with all of the mama’s milk that you drink. When we tell people about your birth I often joke that you latched on very easily, and you haven’t let go since! There were many, many nights in the last year that I wished with all my heart that you would stop nursing so that I could go to sleep. As hard as that has been sometimes, I would not trade the nursing relationship that we have for anything. I know that nursing you is one of the greatest comforts I can give you, and I’m happy to continue giving you this comfort. Nursing has also been a special time for us. During the day we stare at each other while you nurse, and these days you usually touch my face or my hair and play with buttons or zippers on my clothes. When I nurse you at day care you like to point at the clouds on the ceiling, and you especially like it if I point at them too. I talk to you while you nurse, and sometimes sing a song. Once in a while I’ll say something that you think is funny, and you’ll smirk or giggle in the middle of your meal.

I have tried so hard not to wish you life away. As soon as I catch myself wishing or looking forward to the day you can do such-and-such, I stop myself and remind myself that I have to embrace each moment. It’s such a cliché, and people said it over and over to me, but it’s entirely true that this experience of giving birth to you and helping you grow goes entirely too fast. Even as I look forward to the next parts of your life, I’m constantly looking back and mourning the baby that you were yesterday, or six months ago, or on the night you were born.

Many times today I have looked at the clock and remembered what was happening that night. In the afternoon I was starting to feel labor begin. As the sun was setting I was having very regular contractions and was alone in the bathroom watching the sky. Mary, our midwife, came to our house around 7:30pm, and at 9:05 you were born! Tonight we counted down to 9:05 while we ate tacos from Magnolia Café that Uncle Neil brought to us, the same meal that he brought to us on the night you were born. I decided tonight that this will be my tradition from now on.

I hope that when you’re old enough to read this birthday letter it won’t be the only evidence you have of how much you mean to me and how much I love you. My intention is to give you hugs and kisses every day of your life if you’ll let me, and to remind you that I’ve always loved you, even before we knew you would enter our lives, and that I will love you forever.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby.
Love,
Mommy

6 Responses to “One Year Old”

  1. Grampa Alan Says:

    Very well written and very touching. I choked up at the end.

    Congratulations, Elliot, on your 1st year milestone and your new celebrity. Your Mother’s reflections only reinforces how fortunate you are to have such caring and dedicated parents.

  2. Dina and Tim Says:

    Happy Birthday Elliot!!!

    Lots of love!!

  3. Muna Says:

    Happy Birthday, Elliot – and much love to you, Kymberlie!

    Peace,
    Muna

  4. Uncle Skip & Aunt Fran Says:

    Happy Birthday Elliot

    What is 3 times 3?

    You Mommy will understand.

    It won’t be long before I’ll be asking you that and you’ll be giving me the right answer.

  5. marti & sanaz Says:

    Happy birthday little man! We love you!

  6. allison Says:

    happy birthday elliot! we miss you and can’t wait to see you walk off of a plane at the philly airport to come and visit us. kisses to you and your momma. kisses to your poppa from uncle jonathan.